Monday, May 22, 2006


I just have soo much that needs to be done but I do not have any motivation to do it. Like even just paying attention to my kids. I have no want or desire right now to do anything with them. I just want to leave them sitting in front of the TV all day and ask them to leave me alone. I know this is horrible but I do not seem to have any strength right now to change how I feel. My husband and I had a big talk last night about my current emotional state and so I thought that I would feel better today but it only lasted till about 8 am this morning when fatique from staying up to late last night set in. I just laid on the couch and let sleep take over me. And then unfortunatly I got too sleepy to be nice to my girls. I am soo angry at myself. Soo angry. I just wish this anger was enough to get my butt in gear and do something about it but it seems not to be.

I feel like I need a huge break but how can I get one?? If I go some where the kids have to come and if I try going somewhere without them I have to be back the same day for my husbands sake. Plus our money situation does not allow for any trips any where right now. I get my alone time at 8 pm when they are in bed but I just watch TV. I get too tired to do anything worth while. This is just overwelming me sooo much. I NEED A BREAK!!!!!!!!

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