~`~`Our trip to Utah`~`~

Kelli and Jeremy have moved to Utah. It has been a very sad thing to have to say goodbye, but we got to delay the goodbyes until we all reached Utah together.

Saturday, May 27th
It started when Jeremy's Dad did not get the size moving truck that they needed to move both families down together. This was a very stessful moment for them. So Jeremy told his Dad to just go ahead with out them and they will get thier own truck and then head down the next day or so. Then Jeremy got concerned about Kelli having to drive a vehicle down by herself. It is a 12 hour drive after all and they have 2 kids. So Aaron volenteered to go with them and they would get him a plane ticket for him to go home. While I was willing to let him go I really was sad that he would get to go with them and I would be staying behind with my kids. SoI asked if they would like us to join thier trip and help out with the kids and driving and such. Since getting Aaron a plane ticket home would have cost about the same as paying for the gas in our car Jeremy and Kelli agreed. All of this happened with in a matter of hours on Saturday morning.

So we got everything packed up and everything ready and we all left together on Sunday May 28th, in the morning. We had Jeremy's truck, a big budget truck, and our van, 4 adults, 1 teenager (Kelli's Brother Garrett), and 5 kids. Quite the group there. :)

During the trip down Kelli rode with me and we listend to Ellen Degeneres's book on CD and the 4th Harry Potter book. There were alot of laughs and some tears as Kelli and I talked about everything from nothing in particular to her realization that her life was changing dramatically.

We had a few funny insidences that I wanted to share:

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Well one of the really funny insidences happened while we were stopped at a Walmart (not sure of what city or state we were in). We had decided to make some sandwiches in our cars for lunch. I was making these for everyone when I noticed that there was an older guy chasing seagulls just in front of our cars. He did this for a good 5 minutes and we were all giggling at his playfulness. Then he stopped and notice our little group and headed toward us. He asked Jeremy if we were going to be here much longer and he replied just a bit longer I think. The man replied that he wanted to make us something and that he would be right back. We gave each other questioning looks as we watched him go to his car and then come back with a small roll of what looked like reciept paper. We were all a bit puzzled by what he was going to "make" with this but we just watched as he pulled off a long strip of this paper and then preceded to make a long flower out of it. As he made the first one he told Jeremy he was going to give it to him because he did not what him to get mad at him. Then he asked how many ladies we had. We looked around a bit puzzled at first but then Jeremy realized what he ment and said yes we have 2 ladies with us (Kelli and I). So the man gave Jeremy the flower he had been making and started making another one. Jeremy gave the first flower to Kelli and then the man gave the other flower to Aaron and he gave the second flower to me. We thanked the man for his kindness and all got back into our cars. Kelli must have taken notice of his worn clothing and apparent run down car and asked Jeremy if they should give him 5 dollars for his kindness. Jeremy had Garrett run $5 to the man and at first he said he was not after money but Garrett told him we know its just for your kindness. he accepted it.

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Later on that same afternoon we had stopped at a rest stop to get a bathroom break and let the kids run around and as we were all getting back into our cars a young girl approached Jeremy and started to talk to him. She started telling him how her and her family were from Texas and they were trying to get back home and ran out of gas money to make it the rest of the way and were wondering if they could get from us to make it back. She said that the reason they were near Boise was because her mom (who was a trucker) had suffered frost bite when she was too long out of her truck with out proper protection. She was taken to a Seattle hospital by her trucking partner and left there to have all of her fingers amputated due to the frost bite. Then she called her daughter and son-in-law and told them that the hospital was going to dump her in a homeless shelter unless they could find a way to make it down their to get her.

Her daugher and son-in-law, who have 4 and 1 yr old daughters packed up their home (a travel trailer) and got as much money together as they could and made the trip to Seattle to get her mom. But then as they headed back they started running out of money. She said they had to use the last of thier gas money to buy diapers for the baby. Jeremy and Kelly talked to her some more to make sure that the story she as telling was truthful. But once her mom stepped out of their trailer with her hands nothing but stubbs and bandages loosley applied to her open soars Jeremy and Kelli felt they did not have to ask anymore questions.

My family was only on this trip because Jeremy and Kelli had agreed to pay for our gas. We just had to get our food and such. With it being the end of the month the only money we had was from my Aarons grandparents and parents because it was his birthday that weekend, and every bit of it we were intending to use for our food. But as I heard this young woman ask for help I was looking around for all that I could give her to help. Unfortunatly I could do nothing though since all of our money was in the checking account and we were using the debit card. I was sad that we could not do anymore for this family then give them food that they really did not need.

Jeremy and Kelli did come through for them. Jeremy talked to the husband of the young woman and he could tell that he was truely troubled by what was currently taking place with his family. Jeremy felt comfortable after that with giving them assistance. He gave them some cash and then asked them to follow him to a gas station and he would fill up his tank. Kelli also gave them an unopened package of diapers so they would not have to get more for a while. It really warmed my heart that not only were Jeremy and Kelli able to do this for this family but they were willing. And in the end Jeremy said he got a good feeling doing and even if their story was true or false God saw his intent and thats all the really mattered.

Its soo hard to be a 6 yr old girl today!

Well last night I had Kellis daughter, Gracie(4) over so that they could focus on packing the house for the move. Well Kayla and Gracie were not getting along too well. I had to tell Gracie and Cherise several times to stop being mean to my oldest. They kept telling kayla things like "we don't like your room, or we are not yoru friends". SO I talked to them abtou being nice a things seemed to get better until about 6 pm when Kayla and Gracie got into a fight about a play chair that Gracie was playing with. I went in to intervene and could tell Kayla was very angry and I warned her and Gracie that if they did anything to harm each other that Kayla was going to go to straight to bed and Gracie was going to spend some heavy time in timeout.

Well after the talk I left and then Kayla almost immediatly ripped the chair out of Gracies hand causing her cousin to fall back and hit her back on the bed. So I told all the kids to get out of Kayla's and she went to bed at a little past 6 last night. She did alot of crying and shouting and slamming of her door. But I felt she deserved the punishement after doing that to her cousin.

So finally she feel asleep and I went in to check on her and I found that she had ripped down a picture I drew for her and had ripped that up, and she had also pulled down one of her shelves. Well after that this morning was kind of tense for me. She got sad after I pointed out what she had done and how she had lost that great shelf and picture. And I gave her her usual breakfast and she said she was too sad to eat. SO she ended up going to school with only a few bites of breakfast .

I am going to have a very hungry and sad little girl when she gets home. Its sooo hard to be 6.

Wow What a way to wake up!?!?!

Man I fell asleep on the couch while the girls where watching tv. Then I woke up to the phone rininging. I remembered that before I fell asleep my hubby was on the computer. So I call out to have him answer the phone. But he did not. SO I called a few more times but then remembered that he was in the shower. So I get up and grab the phone and its my friend, Kelli, that is moving. She starts talking about how she has to move this weekend and I am still trying to wake up. I ask her to stop for a second because I thought I was missing a daughter. I told her that I think my hubby forgot to pick up my oldest from kindergarden and I look at the time and its 2 hours after the time he should have. SO I am panicing and then I see her sitting on the floor with my other daughter's. So then I am talking to my friend telling her all this and she is having a panic atack about moving soo soon.

We both calm down and I wake all the way up and we figured out what she needed from me to help the packing to get it done by this saturday. Yea 2 days of packing up a big apartment to move to Utah. Oh boy is this going to be crazy!! But I am going to do everythign I can to make sure ths goes as smoothly as I can for her. Moving is not fun and it makes it worse when you have to do it fast.

My husband turns 30!!!

It is his birthday on Monday and we can't go camping like he would have liked. I am going to try to make the day as special as I can for him. I am making him potato salad and chicken for dinner. And he wants a cookie and cream jello pie for his "cake". I think I will have the girls make some fun birthdday signs. and we can try to do some decorating for him. Luckily he gets that day off that day.


Happy birthday to you!! Happy birthday to you!! Happy birthday dear Aaron!! Happy birthday to you!!

Feel much better today

Not sure if it is because of the extra sleep I got (actually went to bed at 11 instead of later) or if it the fact that I actually did some cleaning and feel of some worth this morning. But I do feel alot better then I have the past few days. I am soo glad. I thought I need to be institutionalized, or I was asking for it. I don't know. Anyway I hope the worst is behind me for a while.

I decided to do some baking today. I made the best brownies ever (not from a box ) and some strawberry Jelly tarts. Mmmmmm They are all soo good. Soon is my husbands birthday and I am going to make him Potatoe salad and Cookies and cream Jello pie. Soo good can't wait.

~~Overwelmed~~

I just have soo much that needs to be done but I do not have any motivation to do it. Like even just paying attention to my kids. I have no want or desire right now to do anything with them. I just want to leave them sitting in front of the TV all day and ask them to leave me alone. I know this is horrible but I do not seem to have any strength right now to change how I feel. My husband and I had a big talk last night about my current emotional state and so I thought that I would feel better today but it only lasted till about 8 am this morning when fatique from staying up to late last night set in. I just laid on the couch and let sleep take over me. And then unfortunatly I got too sleepy to be nice to my girls. I am soo angry at myself. Soo angry. I just wish this anger was enough to get my butt in gear and do something about it but it seems not to be.

I feel like I need a huge break but how can I get one?? If I go some where the kids have to come and if I try going somewhere without them I have to be back the same day for my husbands sake. Plus our money situation does not allow for any trips any where right now. I get my alone time at 8 pm when they are in bed but I just watch TV. I get too tired to do anything worth while. This is just overwelming me sooo much. I NEED A BREAK!!!!!!!!

Success!!!!!!!

Yeah I am sooooooo HAPPY!!! my Cherise finally aftger 2 years has pooped in the potty!!!. This is just soo awesome I can help but boost about it. I know that it is not something that everyone wants to read about but I do not care. It has been the focus of my life for the past 2 years and it finally happen. Now we just need to keep encouraging her to make it to the potty when she needs to poo.

Ohh the summer fun activites!!

So the girsl wanted to do stuff ourside which I was more then willing to let them. It started off as painting on the deck, then on to chalk writing on the front landing, then onto 3 tubs of water and a garden watering can. I filled the watering can with tempid water and used it to "Shower" the girls while they were in the tubs. Then they posed for the cute pictures on top. They had a ton of fun till it got cooler outside and looked like rain.

I hope that I can keep myself motivate through the heat and my dang emotions and tendancy to be lazy to continue to arrange fun things for my girls ad I to do.

Very big scare for me and my family

OK so last night (at about 12:30) when my dh and i where trying to get to sleep we smelled smoke comming from outside through our window. At first we just played it off as a far off fire because it was a light smell. But then the smell got much stronger. So we got up and went on to our balcony to take a look around to see if we could see a fire (we live in a small town and can see alot of it from our balcony). Well we saw nothing that looked like a fire. But we called he fire department anyway because the smell was soo strong.

We saw the police scaning around town but we could tell they could not find anything. Well we were looking around and we saw some smoke comming from below our deck. So we called the fire department agian and told them we thought it was comming from our down stairs neighbor. And we got the kids up and just as I was heading out the door with them the firemen came and found that the source of the smoke was that our down stairs neighbors had been using a plastic pot for an ash tray and a cigarette was melting the plastic and about ready to catch the siding on the building on fire. Not to mention the fact that it was sitting on a wooden railing.

This really scared the heck out of me. Especially after it was all taken care of and the thoughts started comming that if we had gone to bed earlier and fell asleep that the building would have caught on fire bad. The Fire cheif said that the siding on our building goes real fast when its caught on fire. Oh and our neighbors had put the cigarette in the pot and then left because when the firemen knocked on htier door no one answered.

Well the fire cheif hopefully will talk to them tonight. I personally hope they get fined for this. But this is the closest my familyand I have come to something like this. Now I am scared to go to sleep tonight for fear that it will happen agian.

Lost in the quest of friendship

The thought that I am soon going to have to say goodbye to one of my closest friends has been on my mind alot lately. She is going to be moving and making a better life for her and her family and I am extrememly happy for her in that aspect. But I am very sad and scared for her and I at the same time. We have helped each other through some pretty tough times. Been there to cry with or laugh with or vent too. She has helped me to become a better wife and mother. She has taught me how to remain strong and stand up to those that I have not stood up too. She has been there to help me through many situations as I have for her. And I know that she will move on and make more friends and possibly find one that she can be close to like me (actually I hope she can so she can have someone to lean on there too). But I am really struggling to figure out who here will I now be leaning on.

I lean on my husband allready for so much but there is only so much that he can cure in me. I need a female companion who understands the dang mood swings and the urges to just hit people. I need someone else to gripe to about the cashier that gave me a hard time or the Dr. that just does not listen. I need someone to give me clarity when I am mad at the world.

I am afraid I do not make friends very well. And I am discovering that since we have movd to a college town i am becoming even more hesitant to becoming too close to someone for fear that they are going to move on also. I guess I have a hard time with the thought that I should just appreciate the friends I have for as long as I have them close to me. It is soo tempting to just ask my husband to find a job in the same city she is moving too. But this is not an option right now. I guess I just need to start figuring out how I can make new friends agian.

I hope that my friend will beable to come visit often!!!