Sunday, June 04, 2006

I am going to be a comedian!!

I started watching the new season of Last Comic Standing on NBC and I just have to say I love that show. Its a great show when you just need to laugh. But from that show I have decided that I am goin got move to New York and persue the comedy rought. YEA RIGHT!!

But seriously I have come up with a funny routine for myself if I ever decided to become a comic. I thought I would share it with you:


"Hey there!! My name as they said is Sabrina. I am new to this comedy stuff....ok that is a lie. I have been married for 8 years and a stay at home mom for the 7 of those years so I have had alot of comedy in my life. If it wasn't for my husband and kids I would have no material for you tonight."

"When I became a Stay at home mom I thought "Wow I will have plenty of time to keep my house clean and play with my children. This will be great!" Then... we got cable. That was the end of that. My house got messier and my kids got more neglected. But do you know what is even worse then getting cable??...Losing your cable...Oh yea that is bad. Suddenly you are forced out of boredom to clean and play with your kids. UGH!!"

"But no!...Seriously..When we did lose our cable I found something else to preoccupy my time with...Quilting!!! Now you may be thinking.....UMM Quilting...thats not funny!!. But it is...and I will tell you how. I have made a lot of quilts for my kids and other family members. When you make a quilt for someone this is what you want it to say.."Here I made you this quilt so that when you use it you will know how much I love you and will always love you". But in reality when you make one this is what it really says...."I took up all my time that I could of spent with you to make this blanket that will never be used and will just take up your ever decreasing space" HA HA. No! Really! My kids need all 10 blankets I have made them."

"Speaking of blankets!....Did you know that a blanket has many uses when you are a child with an active imagination. They of cource use it as a cape to be a super hero, a diaper on a doll, a parachute when jumping out of a plane, or a shield ageinst the boogy man, the uses go on and on. But did you know that it shocks the heck out of a child if you told them they have to use it as a blanket. Yeah!! This happened to me when my 6 yr old was using her blue blanket as the ocean and she was in a boat (basket) fishing for whales (stuffed animals). We told her it was time to go to bed and that she needed to get her blanket. She was very confused. "Blanket?? What blanket?? I am fishing in the ocean." HA HA. She really seemed to have no idea what I was talking about. They just get so caught up in thier own games don't they!?!"

"I recently discovered that I suffer from PMDD--have you heard of it-- yea its Premenstual Demonic Disorder.....I like to call it raging PMS. My husband once asked if I get visited my the devil during this time. *shocked face* "The devil!!" I say "that is crazy! Why would you say a thing like that?" "Well..." he responds "I just figured the devil could take advise from you on how to be truely terrifying!" Great so now I can be giving advise to the Devil. "you had better sleep with one eye open Hunny!!!"

Well ok i may not be a stand up comic but atleast my husband and friends think I am funny. LOL


Starmom74 said...

You had me laughing out loud with that PMDD!! I love it.

lavender & sage said...

Well I a, glad that someone enjoyed it LOL