Thursday, February 28, 2008

feeling lonely, sad, vulnerable, down

Man it seems like the only times I want to post on here lately is when I am sad and blue. Oh well if it helps what am I to do.

So I think my feelings may just tem from being overly tired and missing my meds yesterday and not having heard from my closest friends lately but who knows. I just have sooo much going on that it is hard to tack don on thing causeing me to feel this way. I need to be with good friends this weekend I think.

I want my kitten allready. I think it would make me feel better too. But it has to be born dang it. LOL oh well.

I am working on helping Cherise read. I think I finally got tired of hearing the teacher complain that i am not doing enough. UGH her teacher drives me crazy. but maybe she is right too and I do not do enough with Cherise. I don't know.

It is sooo hard to take care of 3 growing girls. Especially when you are struggling with getting help from your hubby. He is trying really hard to do better and in some ways he is and maybe I am not giving him enough credit. BUt i feel inadequite for them half the time. Heck I fell asleep last night at 5 and aaron got dinner for them. I felt terrible. I woke up 30 minutes later and had to get my own dinner and then go to a class at 6;30 and I think that is when I started to feel really bad because I left everything for aaron to do last night. But he did a great job. He got the girls in a bath, did the dishes, and got them all in bed. So he did awesome. So why do i get soooo upset about him and his gaming. UGHUGHGUBGUHGUBGHG.


Kelli said...

It's hard being a mom. You are always doubting that you do enough and anytime something is not going perfectly with one of your kids, you blame yourself and think it's because you are not doing enough. Sometimes we get super tired too and we just need someone else to take the reins for a while. I had a little emotional break down this morning because the house was a total pig sty and the kids were being difficult about getting ready to go. I just felt like everything was on my shoulders.

Whenever Gabe starts acting up at school I think it is my fault for not working with him enough. If Gracie is being naughty I think it is my fault for not disciplining her enough. Sometimes being a parent just sucks. At least we know though that we are not alone. It's nice to see that someone else feels the way that I do sometimes.

So p.s. you're not alone! :) Love you!

Nicole Campbell said...

I can't pretend like I know how it feels to have kids or anything. It does get hard for me when Zoe is here and I feel like everything is on me. I do however know how you feel when it comes to feeling overwhelmed and exhausted. Sometimes with Jon I feel like I can't do it anymore. Like I am a horrible wife because when he is sick sometimes I just want to go away and sleep or take a bath. Just to feel like a person again. That is horrible I know, but what can I say. I hope you know you are a wonderful mom who loves her kids very much. Don't hold your parenting skills up next to someone else. You are a mom and you are doing the best *you* know how. As for Aaron, video games can be so frustrating sometimes. But just remember he is a man and a human just like you. Just as you need your time for yourself, he does as well. He loves you and is trying. :) Remember we all may be far away but we are here for you! Love ya!!!

The Lone Tree said...

thank you girls!!