Still soo hard some times.

It soo hard to raise kids sometimes. What am I saying its hard all the time. If its not one thing its another. And it is soo hard to not feel like a failure when your child does not seem to develope in the normal range as everyone else. Right now I am refering to my middle daughter Cherise. She has been struggling with bowel problems ever since she was 2 years old. She is now 5 and still does not use the bathroom like she should. She was suppost to start kindergarten this year but with bowel problems still and the lack of maturity i see in her we have decided that we are going to hold her back this year. Instead she is going to go to the preschool I work at where they have kindergarten type lessons. But really all of this makes me feel like i did not succeed as well as I should have as a parent. When I look back at the bowel problem there are definate times I could have done better. The maturity problem mostly stems (I think) from the bowel problem. But I do know that it is for the best that she stay behind this year. It is better then sending her to school and having her not succeed. And she should be ready fr school next year.

Scary Scary Morning!!

At 6:15 a.m., about 45 mintues before our alarm was set to go off. We heard the door bell ring. My husband and I were confused as he got up to answer the door. We never get someone at our house this early. As I listen from the bedroom to hear who it is I hear my middle daughter Cherise (5) crying. I realized that she had gotten outside. And I am still listening i hear my husband talking and I picture him talking to a police officer who was returning my daughter. But that was not the case. It was just Cherise. How did this happen I am asking myself as my husband come back with our crying daughter.

So my husband and I start asking Cherise why she went outside. Her first answer is that she wanted to go swimming. Well that is wierd since we do not have a pool or a yard or anything outside of our apartment. But she had her swim shoes on. So we talk some more and she tells us that she was locked out and thats why she rang the door bell. She only unlocked the bolt lock not the door nob lock. I am glad she knew enough to ring the bell. ANd then her final reason for going outside was that she wanted to blow bubbles. She does not even have any bubbles right now.

Well it scard the heck out of us and we are not exactly sure why or how to prevent it from happening agian but we are looking into it. i am hoping to get advise from friends and family.

I am teaching!!

yes I have young minds that I will be molding come this september. I will be teaching the 2 yr olds at the preschool i work for. i am soo excited about it. I have a whole curriculam and get to plan lessons and everything. I even have my own room that I can do everything in. I also have to watch the babies for the most part while teaching so it may take some time to get in a groove with that but I think I can handle it. I allready have everything for the most part planned up to November. I will keep you posted on how it is going. Wish me Luck!!

My friend Kelli and her son where mentioned in their local news paper. It was really awesome to hear about it and to see a cute picture of her son. I am sooo glad that she is working as hard as she can to make things not only better for herself and her son but for others in her situation.

Her son has autism and it has been such a struggle for her to feel like she has made progress with him. And when she moved to a new town she was worried about what kind of support system she would have there for this and now she along with other moms are creating a great one from the sounds of it. I am soo proud of her and happy for her.

Here is the article she shared with me:


http://www.tooeletranscript.com/index.php?option=content&task=view&id=15593&Itemid=

isn't her sone just the cutest. lol I think soo!!

Cherise, Cherise, Cherise

She is my middle daughter. Her look on life is so comical. She makes us and others laugh at her views, but not because they are silly but they way she states. And to think she is ony 5 years old. I can not wait till she gets older so that I can tell her all the funny things she has said as a child.

Just this morning we were talking about my husband dead grand father. She saw a picture of him so she wan ted to know about where he is and when he was comming back. I told her he is with God and that he would come back when Christ does. So she asked me "When is Christ comming back? Is he comming on Saturday??" Oh man she makes me laugh.

There are so many other things that just make her soo cute. She talks in a sweet voice most of the time. She loves to out of the blue say "Mom your beautiful" or "Mom your boobs are big". LOL She is great. I don't know what I would do with out her.

"It was meant to be that life would be a challenge. To suffer some anxiety, some depression, some disappointment, even some failure is normal. Teach our members that if they have a good, miserable day once in a while, or several in a row, to stand steady and face them. Things will straighten out. There is great purpose in our struggle in life." Boyd K. Packer

This makes me feel a bit better. :)

~~ I just don't know if this is worth it ~~

Well as you know I have a new job at a preschool. Well i take my kids with me and so I have to pay for a portion of the costs for that. And so because I have a new job and all we make too much money to get state help anymore. Which is really bad because I so not actually make that much money yet at my new job. So now we get no food money and the medical for my girls is gone. And I am afraid we will lose our rent help too. I might be making more money next month but i do not know if it is enough to cover the loss of all of the financial help. So as it stands right now I do not know if me working this job is worth it. We do not want to have to rely on the state for financial help anymore but we also do not want to be short in food at the end of the month because I am not actually making what they think I am. The people at the preschool are being great about it. They even gave me a $25 dollar bonus in my last paycheck because they want me to stick around. And I do love this job so I want to stick around too. But not at the expense of our finaces. We still have a lot of bills even though we have done a bankruptcy. And with this new development we may not beable to get them paid. And there goes any hope of having any kind of second car to help with the crazy schedule during the school year. It is going to take a lot of praying to find out what to do about this.

My grandfather

I only have ever known one grandfather in my life. He is a quiet man. He always seemed happy. He loved to have us visit I think. I know that he loved to take things apart and put them back together. He loves to keep everything he has ever owned. He has a collection of comic books and National Geographics in the reckroom that as kids we always looked through. He used his tools to make the neatest things. One thing I remember he made was a big wagon to haul stuff in. And he would take us for rides in it. That was fun. He has a collection of license plate on his reckroom front. I think that is pretty neat. He is always willing to help out his family and neighbors. I wish that I knew a bit more about him.

His health is failing. He has been diagnosed with alzhiemers. He falls alot so my granny has to stay with him all the time now. So she only gets out when my Uncle is there to help. I feel sad about this. He lead such a good and full life that I wish this was not the way he started to go. He can no longer take things apart because he can't remember how to put them back together. I am sure that is hard for him. And this has to be real hard on my granny because she sees everyday how much he is slipping away. She is a strong woman but I wonder how much of that strength comes from having him by her. I worry about how she will do when he is gone. And my dad is very close to him too. I am sad for him. I know this is going to be hard on him. Our family (my mom and dad) have not had to deal with alot of death, atleast for most of my life time. So it makes me wonder how this is going to effect them.